any OP bros like me out there...?

at first i liked playing league with friends so i went support like they told me and played together, but as time passed i started playing with other friends and unlike the beginning i kept staying at the same skill level, and when i played with the good ones i felt like i was the only one falling behind

my friends are nice so they can't curse me out, and i feel pressured so i try to strike first by getting angry and upset, and even when i try my best i'm so fking bad that i pretend to int

whatever, even if i try hard i'm bronze so my skill can't back it up

so when friends reach out to play together i just refuse and block them

i make a smurf and play alone, but then when a stranger friends me or asks to play together i get happy and play with them.... i don't even know why i'm like this